An interview with a Storm Trooper.

Jay VT –Friday March 14 began with a mix of sun and snow as ski lifts opened at ski hills everywhere. Families flocked to their favorite ski hills from near and far to enjoy a weekend on the slopes. But travelers and locals at the Jay Peak resort in Vermont were shocked to find out who was on the runs along side them and their children.

"I was honestly stunned when I came down the face chutes to see him just tearing it up through the trees and then pulling a 540 Tail Grab off a 20 foot cliff" reported Jim a local. "Who’d think that a Storm Trooper could be such a stellar skier?"

Yes you read that correctly all those who decided to head out to the mountain this past weekend were stunned to see a real life storm trooper riding the Tram, tearing up the slopes and sitting by the fire in the chalet. When he stopped for a pint at the bar in the main chalet, I decided I would attempt a chat. He was surprisingly polite but I could tell that he did not want to be asked many questions and wanted to keep it relaxed so he merely volunteered his story to clarify who he was;

"Listen I know what people are thinking when they see me out in public skiing or shopping with this big intimidating white helmet on, they get scared and nervous." He went on, "But I am no different then any other person out here, I am just trying to have some fun. See when the Death Star was destroyed and everything went tits up I needed to find work and fast, as there were a lot of us still alive. So I went back to school and became a lawyer for the DA’s office. I make a great living and get respect from my peers and superiors, and getting women is actually easy with my dark force background, it gives me a lot of street credit."

As he continued with his story I scanned those around us and saw a plethora of differing reactions upon seeing a storm trooper drinking a pint and glass of scotch at the bar. Some gawked at the sight and walked away in complete disgust. While others portrayed complete and utter fear. And then many people actually sat at the bar and made pleasant conversation.

"With my new life and career I have a great deal of money and time off to do things that I just couldn’t before. I mean just think of it this way, I don’t have to work for that mean black helmeted freak any more and his old crusty, wrinkly master, what an asshole he was. I never really wanted to help the Empire but I was young and foolish and needed the money to fuel a space crack addiction -I finally kicked it thank god. I hope people will understand that I made some bad decisions but that it was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I am a completely different person now."

We continued drinking together for several hours and ended up drinking and skiing together for the entire weekend. He was quite the partier and phenomenal skier. I took the picture above as we were talking and drinking in his room several more times over the weekend. We also dicused writing a biography together on his life.

So the next time you happen to see a Storm Trooper at your ski hill or local pub introduce yourself politely and be respectful as it seems that they are humans too and could be reintroduced to our modern day society.

Ok so that didn’t actually happen but I thought it was much more interesting then explaining how I got the nickname ‘Storm Trooper’ from my wife this past weekend. See I have ski boots that are being replaced ASAP. They happen to be boots I purchased in the 90s so they don’t fit well and look worse but I wanted one more season out of them before I spend a great deal of money for new ones. Basically they are gigantic white and black boots -hence Storm trooper.

Of course Tracy wouldn’t tease me would she? HA! I enjoyed being made fun of over the boots all weekend by my wife and those she told. There were many stories that I came up with them about a storm trooper selling them b/c he was out of a job and so on. This was the one I chose to go with. I will be happy -to say the least- when I can start shopping for new boots at the off season sales this summer.

Finally a big Happy birthday to my sister, Helene, hope you have or had -depending when you read this- a great day today. Tracy and I will have a pint in your honor. And to all those enjoying some pints tonight -as I know I will- Happy St. Paddy’s Day. I will post some of the pics from Jay peak as soon as I get them downloaded from the camera.