Why Me? Part II

Ok so this is part II and part I was up earlier so you don't have to read I to understand II but it would make more sense.

Perfect example is the mother of all resolutions; "this year I am going to in shape and join a gym." This one drives me nuts for more then one reason. 1. is selfishness, which I will explain, and 2. As I want the best for people and know that failing or allowing yourself to fail is not a fun thing.

To explain ‘1.’ This starts with the fact that I have been going to the gym about five times a week since I was fifteen. Each and every New Year there is an influx of new members, I like to call these people the ‘resolutionists’. Every year they clog up the system by creating line-ups for everything from treadmills to showers. I am selfish in this respect because I hate my gym crowded.

What happens after the first couple months of every new year? Numbers in the gym start to fall and by the end of March things get back to normal. This happens every year and only a very small portion of the resolutionists actually stay on and stick to it. By March there are no line-ups for treadmills and it is back to us regulars to take control of our gym, until the next new year of course.

This is where you might think I am jerk as I hate the influx of new members trying to get in shape. But year in and year out I see people join a gym only to fail and drop out a few months later. People drop out for many reasons: being in a gym isn’t for them and they will work out or do activities elsewhere, perfect. They feel that, this particular gym isn’t working for them….and so on. But the most common reason; they simply quite and give up.

Now I will put this whole thing to sleep and explain #2 while tying in the self-pity. Although I hate a busy gym, I would much rather alter my workout times if it meant that more people were meeting their personal goals. But what happens to many of these people is that after that first month, even if they see minimal results they don’t feel it is fast enough or to maintain this new routine is to hard. This is slowly when the determination and effort is lost.

The more they think it takes to long they become frustrated and become upset with themselves. This is the crucial point; the individual needs to take that energy (frustration) and redirect it to their health and exercise. We all have moments when we want to quite but if we push past it by changing things up, like in this case a new form of cardio, we can continue on day after day.

If they don’t the next step introduces excuses; its too hard, I don’t have time, I don’t see any change. These are bad for mojo and will lead to greater frustration; "I don’t care how I feel I will not workout." From there it isn’t a short fall to self-pity "I can’t workout it doesn’t work for me". Majority of the resolutionists are in the later category.

But this can all be avoided. Self-pity is no different then any of the obstacles we face in everything we do. Attempting to be social and entering a new group of friends is terrifying, why? Rejection. We fear rejection and some so much that they won’t even make an effort. Self-pity can lead to depression and if an individual allows themselves to get here it is even harder to get back. But you can not lose what you have not put in.

I truly believe that the greater sadness here is people give up on themselves and allow feeling sorry for oneself to be the justification for it. Self-pity and the negative patterns that come with it can be broken. We must focus and determine what we want (risks, goals…) and go for it. Establish time lines and mini-goals. If they are not met allow understanding of why then refocus that energy to work harder and take that risk again but now better prepared.

This was of course not meant to pick on people I merely combined one personal observation with a negative state of mind. But then again if someone felt guilty or angry after this I would assume it’s potentially that they have given up on something and this merely reminded them.

Life isn’t much fun without having something to strive for and the thought of failure should be a motivational tool to push on and succeed. Unfortunately many of us see failure purely as a negative which leads to rejection, self-pity and finally resulting in not making efforts or not taking risks.