New Awards to be handed out.

New Family Day Monday extending the weekend for families to enjoy some time off together. Ah what a great time to go skiing or snowshoeing with your family. Or if you are not an active family how about taking in a museum, art gallery or an IMAX film. Or simply just taking some time to relax at home play some games and spend some quality time together. I would love to be with mine.

What a pile of crap -speaking about family day so I can’t say shit. Business’ and employees are pissed off as the Ontario government made it so confusing that no one really knew who was supposed to be off and who wasn’t.

This resulted in many private companies asking their employees to forfeit a personal day or floating holiday in exchange for this new stat day, as they could not afford to pay for the extra stat holiday. So employees receive a new day off but at what cost? They now have this new statutory holiday in February but they lose a floating or personal day that they could use on any day of the year.

Maybe I am biased in the fact that my company doesn’t give me the day and other corporations similar to mine do. But think of this "an estimated 40% of workers in the province will work that day -- a fact that has, ironically, left many parents scrambling for Family Day child care."

Oh well what can I do? If you are like me and don’t have it off or don’t like your family here are some suggestions of things to do on ‘Family’ Day:

- Head down to Buffalo to take advantage of the most excellent President's Day sales.
- Locate and hang out with a much better family.
- Go around the neighborhood looking like a sad puppy and see how many families invite you in. - Convince the family to do a polar bear dip in Lake Ontario. Count down from ten, run as a group, and bail just before you hit the water. Laugh at them as they shiver with hypothermia.
- Do what they've been doing in the prairies provinces since Family Day began there in 1990 - make out.

- In the cover of darkness, hunt down and destroy snow families.
Now for something completely different; I thought that I would hand out the first ever "Marc’s Award for Recognition Concerning Severe Moronic Asshole Dirt bags.’ Hmmm I like the ring to that and will apply the shorter acronym, M.A.R.C.S.M.A.D., to fit on the award itself.

So the first award goes to -insert pathetic little drum roll here- Hillsborough County Deputy Charlotte Marshall Jones. Jones was caught on tape dumping a quadriplegic man out of his wheelchair, like you might a wheel barrow full of dirt, during the booking process and while supervisors were watching on.

Hey why not? You may as well remove any chance that the man could head butt you or spit in your face as you pat him down for weapons. I am actually surprised that as the man lay there in a heap, she didn’t taser him before he had a chance to make his move.

This has given Jones some time off and her suspension will most likely be filled with tasering girl guides and seeking out elderly men and women, who are the proud recipients of new hips, only to shove them down a flight of stairs or in front of a moving vehicle, meanwhile waiting to hear that faithful sound of a newly installed hip crack into millions of pieces.

Thanks for protecting and serving Deputy Charlotte Marshall Jones, you make assholes everywhere proud and wanting to strive for that bar you have placed ever so high.