Nickelback letter.

Well I said I would do it a while back and here it is my letter to Nickelback. I don’t normally write letters to bands or groups…as they usually don’t get a response and are most likely simply deleted or trashed as soon as they are received -plus I just have better things to do. But I had to at least send this one as my concern for music is rather grave and I couldn’t live with myself it I hadn’t.

Dear Nickelback;

Concerned music fan.

I know that music has had dark times in the past and the last several years -too many to count- have been no different. As the days seem to get their darkest and the clouds seem to get ever lower and heavier and when all seemed to be bleak with no hope in sight it happened. Nickelback appeared on the scene amid all the dark depressing ‘talented’ bands that are out there. This could be the light that will bring us out of this horrid dark age of music.

So with this pressure you (Nickelback) jump in the front seat and drive us deeper and arther down a depressive pit of depravity and anguish where we (especially Canadians) are embarrassed of the sad state affairs that is the music industry. The bar that represented what is considered recordable music has fallen so low that I don’t actually think it has been elevated in quite some time. What makes this travesty sink further is that the garbage is peddled to the general public and unfortunately many are so jaded and confused that they are buying what is considered 'music' b/c they have no other choice.

So I thought that if you can answer these questions honestly then we can maybe move on;

When do you believe your 15 minutes will be over?

When asked about producing the same song but just changing the lyrics of "How You Remind Me" & "Someday" you stated;
"If all hits sound the same, then sorry. When you are a band that has a distinct style such as us or AC/DC, that happens. When you have a distinct style, you run the risk of sounding similar." So you actually believe people bought that lame response? If you have creativity and imagination then no matter what your "distinct style" is, the songs won’t be exactly the same. In addition to that; how can you put yourself in the same category as AC/DC? Not sure if that is ballsy or just stupid, as you are nowhere close.

Does it get easier to be bottled off stage?

I could go on and on but I think that I will end with a question that was suggested from a friend of mine. It would probably be best to attempt to answer this one over the others. It will probably take you an extremely long period of time to come up with an answer so sharpen your crayons and get thinking;

Tell me why you don’t suck?

That's it, that's the question -oh and a heads up answers like "I am not you" are even a little juvenile for you although from your stellar song lyrics I am sure that you wouldn’t have the originality or vocabulary to come up with an answer that witty.

So as I am sure you and your feeble minded partners didn’t have a chance to peruse this letter, but in the off chance that you did, I have two strong alternatives for you they are merely suggestions and do with them what you wish;

Completely stop what you are doing NOW, and go back to your cover band.

Or

Take some time off and do some really strong soul searching maybe visit the Shaolin monks, learn other peoples cultures, have a near life experience by doing something extreme like maybe sky diving for example. Or do some strong drugs, go on a bender and drink nothing but whiskey and get into some trouble, fight…What I am trying to say is you need to figure out what a rock star actually is. And not just another main stream poser rock star but actually a talented one.

Sincerely
Melodically Annoyed Repulsed and Chafed by your music.